Islamic Shari’ah on Muslim "Man v/s Woman" as against "Husband v/s Wife"

Islamic Shari’ah on Muslim
 "Man v/s Woman" as against "Husband v/s Wife"

It is very clear all over in the Quran that our Shari’ah equates Man and Woman in all the fields — equal but different, very different at times. Women have all the rights and  responsibilities of the opposite gender: the right to property, educate, work etc. It will be safe to state that our Deen does not draw any difference between the two in this context: the society as a whole. It can be confidently surmised from a study of the Islamic scholarship that the rights of women are as obligatory upon men as the rights of men are upon women and the rights of both are similar to each other.

However it is entirely a different ball game in Islam in the context of relationship between Husband and Wife. The entire concept and approach changes once you add this bond and association. Now we are introducing the institution of the FAMILY — the Unit of Society in Islam. As this is a fundamental demand for a healthy Islamic community our Shari’ah has many rules to protect and strengthen this Unit. The very harsh and unequivocal denunciation of Adultery is the first and strong step in this direction. Second, the Shari’ah has ordered and defined “maraatib” among the members of the family to ensure cooperation and avoid confrontation among them. For want of a single word, “maraatib” can be described as a system of Divine ranking of the members of the family. As pointed out by the eminent scholar Javed Ahmed Ghamdi Sahib this system of “maraatib” is one of our distinguishing features from the Western society; they have no concept of this with disastrous consequences to the fabric of the family unit. The Mother (a woman) has three times higher position than Father (a man). A son (a man of fifty years) is obliged to respect and revere his Mother (a woman). We all willingly agree to all this. Enters controversy and distress when Allah Ta'aala Subhaanahoo declares HIS ranking between a husband and wife. Please note that a woman as a woman has her full rights to dictate the terms of contract of marriage, reject it or accept it. Our beloved Prophet is on record as annulling a marriage contract when he was told by the woman concerned that it was done without her approval. Once the contract is signed, a woman has evolved into a wife — an integral and cardinal transformation. Now there is no room for a contest or conflict of genders. She and her husband are on the same side in their effort to manage, develop and run the Family. I would  like to point out to my Sisters and Daughters that in this mutual kinship the Quran has clearly and unequivocally ordained that the husband is “Qawwaam over “ the wife. There is no room to challenge this. The main and only issue remaining to reflect and debate is: Who is a Qawwaam and what are his rights and responsibilities? 

This word has been variously translated. The literal meaning of the word “denotes a person who holds the responsibility or has the duty and charge to manage a job or run a system or take care of what has to be done about something, controlling all related factors therein.” One rendering for this word is very frightening, calling it “haakim” (one who rules, governs, or decides.) and “musallat”(dominant over his wife) by eminent scholars like Maulana Mufti Mohammed Shafi and Dr. Israr Ahmed. The famous scholar Javed Ahmed Ghamdi has termed it as “sarbarah”, head of the family. Other translations include: “protectors and maintainers of women” by Maudoodi, Yousuf Ali and Mohsin Khan; “take full care of women” by Dr. Asad; “Men are the ever upright (managers) (of the affairs) of women” by Dr. Ghali; “Men are in charge of women” by Pickthal and Sahih International; “Men are the maintainers of women” by Shakir. Few other alternates used are: caretakers of women; guardians, custodians and overseers. 

I hope, I have been able to convince my Sisters and Daughters that in the Divine ranking (“maraatib”) of members of a Family, the husband has been designated as  Head of the family and the wife is required to “obey” and cooperate. It is a functional and administrative division. The husband is a working head and not a ruler or dictator in the political sense.

To put the whole issue in its proper perspective (and to reassure my hardworking sisters and daughters) let me close by quoting an ultra-conservative but an outstanding scholar Mufti Mohammed Shafi: “As explained in other verses of the Holy Qur'an, this mantle of authority placed on the shoulders of men is not that of a dictator and a tyrant. While exercising this authority, man is bound by the supreme law of Islam, the Shari'ah. He must act on the principle of consultations and follow good counsel. He just cannot act at the spur of his whim or his wild instincts. The command given to him is: “Treat women well, as recognized”(The Holy Quran).

Trying to answer one question, I have stirred up many more, I am afraid. All of them need answers. Perhaps in due course.