The PPK Muslims (Proud, Practicing, Knowledgable) : 08/30/15

FURTHER MORE ON GUIDANCE FROM SHARI'AH
ON THE RELATIONSHIP BETWEEN MUSLIM HUSBANDS AND WIVES

ABSTRACT

The ayah discussed in the last session does give an impression of a male bias. We will now discuss the other ayahs on this subject which will restore and strengthen our confidence in complete and total impartiality, righteousness and justice in all Divine commandments.

In the very next ayah, Quran mentions a fourth step of a Family Council to settle matrimonial disputes.

The details are discussed. It has been elaborated that the reference to taqwa and God consciousness at the end of the ayah is a recurrent feature in the Holy Book as this is the SOLE sanction for enforcing Divine injunctions. If the fourth step also fails, then recourse to a Court of Law in the final option.

Giving the lie to common and vocal misconceptions about the role of women in Islam, the Holy Quran is replete with ayahs defining the role and defending the rights of women vis a vis men. A few of these have been discussed.

The practice of owning women and harassing them is forbidden. An exception is mentioned in case of immorality. Man is strongly advised to behave kindly with his spouse. He is promised a “plenty of good” if he continues with his wife amicably even if he has reasons not to like her. He is commanded not to withdraw his meher of “treasure of Gold” at the time of divorce. This will be a “manifest sin” since she has a “strong contract” of marriage with her and he has had intimate private relationship with her. Very strong and deterrent punishment is declared for those who accuse women of adultery and do not follow up with credible proof in one of the ayahs. It is an entirely a different ball-game, if a person suspects his/her spouse of adultery. The Quran has a very judicious and practical approach for this situation known as the Law of Li’an. In another ayah man is firmly instructed to give bridal gifts “graciously”. The challenging and boldly romantic ayah of the “tilth” is discussed.

Subject: Read ONLY, IF AND WHEN you have time and mood for:

“An Ayah of the Quran for 30 Days” -- September 2014

Choose the section you have time, in the next 30 days to read this ayah:-

Prelude: Recurrent Primary Message 1st. Page

Starting Dua, a note & The Ayah 2nd. Page

A Short Summary: For the Busy Bee Two + Pages

The Main Story: Recommended Four Pages

Footnotes: For the Perfectionist Four Page

PRELUDE

From the Pen and Perspective of a self-styled PPK Muslim (Proud, Practicing, Knowledgeable) with a humble submission that Islam totally rejects Blind Following BUT vigorously focusses on the Limitations of Pure Human Reasoning..............and clearly and comprehensively AlLAH knows best.

In the beginning of the seventh century C.E., the folks of Mecca and Medina had a fascinatingly unique window: they had direct access to the Heavens through one of their own. They were blessed with a regular stream of Divine counseling and guidelines. Question and answer sessions were part of the program. Even individual questioner was graced by an answer. In the short Introduction to this scheme they were assured that at the end of this twenty-two year project, Divine Directions and Admonitions will continue through the agency of the PEN. The whole discourse has been preserved and archived till eternity under the guarantee of our Lord and Creator. This record in known as the Quran.

It should sound unbelievable but factually appears to be true: Many of our prevalent, widespread and important concepts and opinions about religious matters do not have a basis in the Quran and sometimes even appear to be in obvious conflict with the teachings of the Quran. It would be very educative and helpful to discuss an Ayah once a month to see if it supports or rejects our views and actions in our daily life. I wish and hope this email generates a fruitful interactive discussion.

In the name of Allah, we praise HIM, seek HIS help and ask for HIS forgiveness. Whosoever Allah guideth none can misguide; whosoever HE allows to fall astray, none can guide him right. We bear witness that there is none worthy of worship but Allah alone and we bear witness that Mohammed, SAW is HIS slave-servant and the Seal of HIS Messengers.

Further, we recall that Allah Ta’aala has declared in HIS Book¹ “He granteth wisdom to whom He pleaseth; and he to whom wisdom is granted receiveth indeed a benefit overflowing; but none will grasp the Message (or remember or receive admonition) but men of understanding (or intellect)” and we also recall that he has warned us about the day of judgement² “Then on that day you shall most certainly be questioned about the boons (joy, pleasure).” We realise, that there cannot be a greater boon or blessing or benefit than wisdom and we wonder if this should be a timely reminder to very many of us sincere and practicing Muslims who use our critical thinking to enhance the mundane for ourselves and our families but resort to compulsory following -- taqleed, doctrine of classical Sunni Islamic Fiqh -- in matters religion.

(NOTE: I have filtered out the proofs and details into the Footnotes for those who have the time and interest for them. The main email will then be reasonable length, hopefully for the busy majority. What follows is not a sermon; I do not feel qualified to give one, anyhow. I wish, it may provide a food for thought. A caveat seems in order: If the ayah selected pertains to issues we face in our daily life with our family, friends, neighbours or peers it may affect us personally and lead to some self analysis and soul searching which in turn could be divisive and distressing. If taken in the right spirit, it can be a humble attempt towards finding the “straight path”.)

THE AYAH

CONTINUED FROM PREVIOUS

Surah An Nisa 4, Ayah 34

Men are the protectors and maintainers of women, because Allah has given the one more (strength) than the other, and because they support them from their means. Therefore the righteous women are devoutly obedient, and guard in (the husband's) absence what Allah would have them guard. As to those women on whose part ye fear disloyalty and ill-conduct, admonish them (first), (Next), refuse to share their beds, (And last) beat them (lightly); but if they return to obedience, seek not against them Means (of annoyance): For Allah is Most High, great (above you all). Yusuf Ali

A SHORT VERSION

The ayah of the month does give an impression of a male bias. We will now discuss the other ayahs on this subject which will restore and strengthen our confidence in complete and total impartiality, righteousness and justice in all Divine commandments.

In the very next ayah³the Holy Quran mentions a fourth step to settle matrimonial disputes which are long dragging. A family council for arbitration is recommended on equal footing of the disputing parties. The instruction from our Lord Creator is clear and direct:

“If you fear a breach between them twain (the man and his wife), appoint (two) arbitrators, one from his family and the other from her's; if they both wish for peace, Allah will cause their reconciliation. Indeed Allah is Ever All-Knower, Well-Acquainted with all things.” Mohsin Khan

One arbitrator/judge to be appointed each from “his family” and “her family” establishing equality of the disputing parties. Please note that Allah Ta’aala has clearly defined the purpose of this council when it is stated: “in - if - yureeda - they both wish - islahan - ishlah or reconciliation.” The council is not to be used as a forum to extend the bickering and mud-slinging; to settle the issue amicably is to be the main objective. Once this condition is satisfied, Bari Ta’aala goes on to assure: “ yuwaffiqi - will cause reconciliation - Allahu - Allah - bayna huma - between both of them.” The parties concerned are promised help and “taufiq” from Allah to solve the issue.

Bari Ta’aala does not specify who will appoint the arbiters and what will be their authority. Superficially, one wonders why this ambiguity? In HIS deep wisdom, the Shari’ah often leaves the details to be decided according to the time and place factoring in the prevailing state of knowledge acquired by the believers with good use of the “PEN” which Allah Ta’aala has promised in the second part of the very first Wahee (Proclaim! And thy Lord is Most Bountiful; He Who taught (the use of) the PEN; Taught man that which he knew not) ⁴. Second, the Holy Quran has stated that the purpose of the whole Creation is to test and assess human beings(He Who created Death and Life, that He may try which of you is best in deed: and He is the Exalted in Might, Oft-Forgiving)⁵. This is one such occasion of trial of the believers; it will be ascertained whether believers have his Creator and HIS teachings in mind when selecting the candidates or allow their personal selfish considerations to prevail.

The spouse themselves could choose their arbitrators or may be their elders may be asked to do that. Will they have any authority to impose their suggestions and recommendations? The Hanafia and Shafia only grant them a mediator’s role namely to suggest and recommend. Mufi Mohammed Shafi gives them authority.⁶ Maulana Maudoodi points out that there is a debate on this issue amongst our jurists⁷.

Finally, if this family council fails, an appeal to the Court of Law is the last resort.

“O ye who believe! Ye are forbidden to inherit women against their will. Nor should ye treat them with harshness, that ye may Take away part of the dower ye have given them,-except where they have been guilty of open lewdness; on the contrary live with them on a footing of kindness and equity. If ye take a dislike to them it may be that ye dislike a thing, and Allah brings about through it a great deal of good.”⁸

The ownership of women which was a strong source of tyranny against women is clearly declared as illegal and sinful. Mufti Mohammed Shafi regards marriage without the consent of the woman also as illegal under this law. It was common in those days to constraint and harass a woman till she asks for a khul’ as a trick to get back the dower. This is condemned and disallowed. The only exception is mentioned as: “illa - except - an - that - yateena - they come - bi - with - fahishatin - immorality - mubayyinatina - open.” It has been translated above as “except where they have been guilty of open lewdness”. In this situation, Shari’ah allows man the option to withdraw his favors from his wife. A general and firm dictate to man about his attitude with his spouse follows: “wa - and - aashiroo hunna - live with them - bil - with - maaroofi - kindness.” Man is strictly enjoined kindness for his wife. Finally man is given a very good reason to continue living with her affectionately even if he has reasons to dislike her: “fa-in - but if - karihtumoo - you dislike - hunna - them - fa asaa - then perhaps - an - that - takrahoo - you dislike - shay-an - a thing - wa - and - ja’lal -has placed - Allahu - Allah - feehi - in it - khayran - good - katheera - plenty.” This is a Divine incentive to man; even if he is not happy with his wife, Allah Ta’aala Subhanahoo can bring about a great deal of good to him if he continues with her.

The next two ayahs in the Quran after the one we just discussed continue to dwell on related issues.⁹

“And if you wish to have (one) wife in place of another and you have given one of them a heap of gold, then take not from it anything; would you take it by slandering (her) and (doing her) manifest wrong? (Shakir) And how should you take it, and each of you has already gone privily with the other, (Literally: some of you have been privily with (some) and they have taken from you a solemn compact?” Dr. Ghali

Our Lord Creator wants man to forego Meher even if it is a treasure of gold at the time of separation. The Quran then asks “would you take it by slandering her?” Unless the man tries to falsely malign her it would not be halal or legal for him to take her gift back. The Quran then points out that such an act will be a “manifest sin”. In the next part of the ayah, the Holy Quran uses frank and direct language to refer to the intimate relationship of marriage: “wa qad - and surely - afda - has gone - ba’dukum - one of you - ila - towards - ba’din - another.” Most of the scholars have freely translated this segment as “when one of you has already gone in to the other”. Marriage itself is described in this ayah as strong covenant. The Divine logic runs like this: How can you even think of taking back your gift on separation from them if you had entered into a solemn contract and have had intimate private relationship with them.

Very strong and deterrent punishment is declared for those who accuse women of immorality and do not follow up with credible proof in another ayah.¹⁰

“And those who launch a charge against chaste women, and produce not four witnesses (to support their allegations),- flog them with eighty stripes; and reject their evidence ever after: for such men are wicked transgressors”

It should be noted that the evidence needed is twice as strong as needed for business or even murder cases: four witnesses instead of two. It is also emphasised that the actual act of penetration has to be witnessed. Virtual impossibility of proving adultery by setting very high standards is to prevent the expected and certain and massive abuse of this punishment for adultery. As Dr. Mohammed Asad puts it “it is obvious that the purpose of the above Qur'anic injunction is to preclude, in practice, all third-party accusations relating to illicit sexual intercourse - for, "man has been created weak" (4: 28)” For all practical purposes, the ONLY Islamic way to “prove” adultery is the voluntary faith based confession by the parties concerned.

Another ayah informs us of a firm instruction to man at the time of marriage.¹²

“And give the women [upon marriage] their [bridal] gifts graciously. But if they give up willingly to you anything of it, then take it in satisfaction and ease.”

The Arabic word “nihlatan” specially signifies “the giving of something willingly, of one's own accord, without expecting a return for it (Zamakhshari)”. The amount of the dower depends entirely on the agreement of the two parties and their financial state.

A challenging and boldly romantic and and yet educational approach to the relations between husband and wife is adopted by the Quran.¹³

“Your wives are as a tilth unto you; so approach your tilth when or how ye will; but do some good act for your souls beforehand; and fear Allah. And know that ye are to meet Him (in the Hereafter), and give (these) good tidings to those who believe.”

The analogy of tilth reminds us that pleasure is a very important aspect of sex but not the only one. The farmer enjoys his work but his objective is to produce the best crop. He plans and works and works hard for it. The tilth we are discussing in this ayah produces offsprings; like the farmer we must plan for them, pray for Allah’s blessings and work hard for their training. One should go only to one's own tilth and not elsewhere, and that one should go there for the purpose of cultivation. Next, this wonderful ayah reminds us that a believer does not lose sight of the spiritual aspect even in carnal matters. We are immediately reminded “but do some good act for your souls beforehand and and fear Allah. And know that ye are to meet Him (in the Hereafter)”. In other words we are reminded that a spiritual relationship between man and woman is postulated as the indispensable basis of sexual relations. We must never forget our souls, and that we are responsible to God even for our sensual actions and experiences.

........and Allah knows best.

May Allah Ta’aala bless us with true understanding--“fahm”--of our Deen, Aameen.

THE MAIN STORY

“I am convinced about the veracity of my opinions, but I do consider it likely that they may turn out to be incorrect. Likewise, I am convinced about the incorrectness of the views different from mine, but I do concede the possibility that they may turn out to be correct.” — Imam Shafa’i

To recapitulate, this forceful ayah which we have been discussing for last two sessions discusses fundamental principles guiding the husband-wife relationship. It gave us a working rule that “man is charged with a duty-bound authority over women.” It seems men have been given a degree of precedence over women as a manifestation of Divine wisdom and justice; it is also presumed that a woman accepts this well defined authority with pleasure. In a dispute following a woman’s behaviour which different scholars have described as “obstinate defiance” or “failure to cooperate in running family affairs in the recognised manner” or “arrogant lack of compromise” or “deliberate, persistent breach of her marital obligations” the Text suggests the sequential options of discussion and advise, avoiding intimate relationship and beating. The ayah does give an impression of a male bias. We will now discuss the other ayahs on this subject which will restore and strengthen our confidence in complete and total impartiality, righteousness and justice in all Divine commandments.

As mentioned in the last session, in the very next ayah³the Holy Quran mentions a fourth step to settle matrimonial disputes which are long dragging, mutually distressful and detrimental, blowing up tempers, producing accusations and likely to travel outside the four walls of the home. A family council for arbitration is recommended on equal footing of the disputing parties. This effectively curbs the free will of man and makes him accountable to the general rules of Shari’ah in this matter. Men have to realise that the measure of precedence over women given to them by Allah Ta’aala is not absolute because the precedence of Allah Almighty hangs heavy over them. The instruction from our Lord Creator is clear and direct:

The spouse themselves could choose their arbitrators or may be their elders may be asked to do that. Mufti Mohammed Shafi has suggested “…….concerned officials of the government or the guardians of the parties concerned or their supporters or a body of Muslim which has the necessary integrity , influence and authority should take charge and appoint two arbitrators…….taking one arbitrator from the man’s family and the other from that of the woman.” The Holy Quran requires a “hakam” which spells out a person who is knowledgeable and trustworthy and therefore qualified to intervene. Will they have any authority to impose their suggestions and recommendations? The Hanafia and Shafia only grant them a mediator’s role namely to suggest and recommend. Mufi Mohammed Shafi agrees with this suggestion but allows the spouses the right to appoint these persons as their attorneys with full authority even to pronounce a divorce or “khul” if need be⁶. Maulana Maudoodi points out that there is a debate on this issue amongst our jurists⁷.

Kindly note the last segment of this ayah: inna-Allaha kana aleeman khabeera translated above as “Indeed Allah is Ever All-Knower, Well-Acquainted with all things.” This strong message of Taqwa and God consciousness with slight variation in words is very commonly repeated through out our Holy Book as an epilogue to the various directives and injunctions pronounced for us for very good reasons and intense underlying implication. This is the message which is the ONLY sanction or authorization to enforce the Divine Commandments. If we are fully cognizant that Allah Ta’aala is all-knowing and well acquainted with each and every action of ours we are very likely to follow HIS commandments. However if we tend to miss this very important fact, any number of formal circumambulations of House of God or the rituals of praying and fasting may not turn out to be profitable on the day of Judgement.

Finally, if this family council fails, an appeal to the Court of Law is the last resort.

Herein some of the prevailing practices of injustice against women at the time of revelation are condemned. The ownership of women which was a strong source of tyranny against women is clearly declared as illegal and sinful. Mufti Mohammed Shafi regards marriage without the consent of the woman also as illegal under this law. It was common in those days to constraint and harass a woman till she asks for a khul’ as a trick to get back the dower. This is condemned and disallowed. The only exception is mentioned as: “illa - except - an - that - yateena - they come - bi - with - fahishatin - immorality - mubayyinatina - open.” It has been translated above as “except where they have been guilty of open lewdness”. Various other scholarly translations are: “unless they commit a clear immorality”, “unless they commit open illegal sexual intercourse”, unless they be guilty of flagrant lewdness”, “unless they are guilty of manifest indecency” and “except when they come up with a (demonstrably) evident obscenity”. In this situation, Shari’ah allows man the option to withdraw his favors from his wife. A general and firm dictate to man about his attitude with his spouse follows: “wa - and - aashiroo hunna - live with them - bil - with - maaroofi - kindness.” Various scholars have rendered this message as: “and live with them honorably”, “but consort with them in kindness”, “live with them on a footing of kindness and equity”, “treat them kindly and consort with them with beneficence”. Finally man is given a very good reason to continue living with her affectionately even if he has reasons to dislike her: “fa-in - but if - karihtumoo - you dislike - hunna - them - fa asaa - then perhaps - an - that - takrahoo - you dislike - shay-an - a thing - wa - and - ja’lal -has placed - Allahu - Allah - feehi - in it - khayran - good - katheera - plenty.” This is a Divine incentive to man; even if he is not happy with his wife, Allah Ta’aala Subhanahoo can bring about a great deal of good to him if he continues with her.

The next two ayahs in the Quran after the one we just discussed continue to dwell on related issues.⁹

The commentators have labelled this act of giving as gift, dower or mahr. This simple statement says volumes about the spirit and type of divorce that Shari’ah has allowed. Far from the petty and mean bickering that usually goes on the occasions of divorce, our Lord Creator wants man to forego even a treasure of gold given to his spouse at the time of separation. This can happen ONLY if the separation is due to genuine and mutually accepted and unbridgeable difference between the spouses. It can never happen if the parting is done on the basis of a quarrel or fight or temper. The message is obvious to a thinking mind: Shari’ah does not recognise such a separation. The Quran then asks “would you take it by slandering her?” Unless the man tries to falsely malign her it would not be halal or legal for him to take her gift back. The Quran then points out that such an act will be a “manifest sin”. In the next part of the ayah, the Holy Quran uses frank and direct language to refer to the intimate relationship of marriage: “wa qad - and surely - afda - has gone - ba’dukum - one of you - ila - towards - ba’din - another.” Most of the scholars have freely translated this segment as “when one of you has already gone in to the other”. This sort of communication stands in sharp contrast to our present practice. Talking about sex education and instruction is taboo; to mention “menses” in presence of a woman would be regarded as scandalous. The intimate relationship between husband and wife is referred to as “wazeef-e-zougeat” (supplication of matrimony) in our religious texts. I would hasten to add this does not justify the so called adult male jokes; they remain depraved. Marriage itself is described in this ayah as firm, solemn or strong covenant or pledge. The Divine logic runs like this: How can you even think of taking back your gift on separation from them if you had entered into a solemn contract and have had intimate private relationship with them.

Dr. Mohammed Asad draws a significant conclusion from the wordings of the ayah. He says: “Lit.(the ayah means), "if you desire the exchange of a wife in place of a wife, and you have given one of them a treasure (qintar), do not take away anything thereof". The allusion to the "exchange" of one wife for another is a clear indication of the Qur'anic view that a monogamous marriage is the desirable norm.”

Very strong and deterrent punishment is declared for those who accuse women of immorality and do not follow up with credible proof in another ayah.¹⁰

It should be noted that the evidence needed is twice as strong as needed for business or even murder cases: four witnesses instead of two. It is also emphasised that the actual act of penetration has to be witnessed. For all practical purposed this is just not going to happen. What is the wisdom behind such an impractical proposition almost reaching the ridiculous? The purpose of ordaining such an intense punishment for adultery is to establish beyond doubt that Islam considers adultery as a heinous crime. This injunction should heavily influence our reaction to the depraved attitude of modern Western thinking on this subject. Virtual impossibility of proving adultery by setting very high standards is to prevent the expected and certain and massive abuse of this punishment for adultery. As Dr. Mohammed Asad puts it “it is obvious that the purpose of the above Qur'anic injunction is to preclude, in practice, all third-party accusations relating to illicit sexual intercourse - for, "man has been created weak" (4: 28)” For all practical purposes, the ONLY Islamic way to “prove” adultery is the voluntary faith based confession by the parties concerned. Yousuf Ali argues that this protection is meant for chaste men as well if a woman accused him of illicit relationship. Women are singled out here in the Quran because they are the usual targets of such calumny. Dr. Mohammed Asad says “from a legal point of view, every woman must be considered chaste unless a conclusive proof to the contrary is produced.”

It is an entirely a different ball-game, if a person suspects his/her spouse of adultery. The Quran has a very judicious and practical approach for this situation known as the Law of Li’an¹¹ maintaining absolute equality between the status and role of the two genders. Suppose a wife catches a husband in adultery or vice versa it will be quite unnatural to expect a normal married life. The matter is then left to the honor of the two spouses. If the husband can solemnly swear four times to the fact, and in addition invoke a curse on himself if he lies, that is prima facie evidence of the wife’s guilt. But if the wife swears similarly four times and similarly invokes a curse on herself, she is in law acquitted of the guilt. If she does not take this step, the charge is held proved and the punishment follows. In either case the marriage is dissolved; the two can never unite again in marriage. This became established as a Sunnah that the couple who swore against each other would separate, never to marry again. The resulting child is attributed to the mother and would inherit the mother and the mother him. A tradition from of Ibn Umar throws some light on the details of the Law: “The Holy Prophet said to a man and woman after Li an: "Now your affair is with Allah: in any case one of you is a liar." Then he said to the man, "Now she is not yours: you have no right on her, nor can you treat her vindictively in any way." The man requested, "Sir, please have my dowry returned to me." The Holy Prophet said, "You have no right to have the dowry back. If you are true in your accusation, the dowry is the price of the pleasure you had from her when she was lawful to you; and if your accusation is false, the dowry has receded farther away from you than it is from her." (Bukhari, Muslim, Abu Da'ud). The Law of Li’an cannot be applied mutually at home, but in a court of law in front of the Judge. Moreover exercise of li’an is not the sole right of the man; the woman also has a right to demand it in a court of law if her husband accuses her of zina, or denies fatherhood of her child. Neither the woman nor the man is liable to punishment. Nobody will have the right to call the woman adulterous nor the child illegitimate, even if the people might be wholly sure of her being adulterous under the circumstances at the time of li’an. Any person who repeats the old charge against the woman or her child, will make himself liable to the punishment of qazf. The woman's dowry will remain intact, but she will not be entitled to claim maintenance, etc. from the man, and she will become forbidden to him for ever.

Another ayah informs us of a firm instruction to man at the time of marriage.¹²

“And give the women [upon marriage] their [bridal] gifts graciously. But if they give up willingly to you anything of it, then take it in satisfaction and ease.”

The Arabic word “nihlatan” specially signifies “the giving of something willingly, of one's own accord, without expecting a return for it (Zamakhshari)”. It is to be noted that the amount of the dower which the bridegroom has to give to the bride has not been prescribed by the Law; it depends entirely on the agreement of the two parties and their financial state. The real poor should feel satisfied that it could be even a mere token. According to several authentic Traditions recorded in most of the compilations, the Prophet made it clear that "even an iron ring" may be enough if the bride is willing to accept it, or, short of that, even "the imparting to thy bride of a verse of the Qur’an".

A challenging and boldly romantic and and yet educational approach to the relations between husband and wife is adopted by the Quran.¹³

Once again we are taught that there is nothing to be ashamed about sex; talking and discussing it for learning and education ass well as indulging in it. It should not be taken lightly and made a subject of cheap jokes nor should there be an excess of it. Yes, enjoy it whatever way you like it but the analogy of tilth reminds us that pleasure is a very important aspect of sex but not the only one. The farmer enjoys his work but his objective is to produce the best crop. He plans and works and works hard for it. The tilth we are discussing in this ayah produces offsprings; like the farmer we must plan for them, pray for Allah’s blessings and work hard for their training. One should go only to one's own tilth and not elsewhere, and that one should go there for the purpose of cultivation. Next, this wonderful ayah reminds us that a believer does not lose sight of the spiritual aspect even in carnal matters. We are immediately reminded “but do some good act for your souls beforehand and and fear Allah. And know that ye are to meet Him (in the Hereafter)”. In other words we are reminded that a spiritual relationship between man and woman is postulated as the indispensable basis of sexual relations. We must never forget our souls, and that we are responsible to God even for our sensual actions and experiences.

As I have stated earlier, Mufti Mohammed Shafi is a reputable but ultra-conservative Muslim Scholar. Yet it was very revealing to me that he has discussed sex with the utmost candor while elaborating this ayah of the Holy Quran. Contrast this with our hesitation to discuss this topic in our halaquas and meetings. High time we change this attitude and declare to the West that our Deen did not mind discussing sex seriously centuries ago what you boast about now. We had forgotten that lesson. I do not agree with all that the famous Mufti says. But I am quoting him here fully to illustrate my point. He says: “The verse 223 points out to the lawful ways of having sexual intercourse with one's woman. The permission of such intercourse has been subjected to two conditions. Firstly, it should take place at a time when the woman is pure from her menstruation. Secondly, carnal intercourse is not allowed at all. This verse begins with a comprehensive remark: "Your women are for you a soil to cultivate. Here the woman has been compared with a soil, while the husband has been compared with a cultivator. This is to indicate that the sexual intercourse has not been allowed for satisfying the sexual lust only, but also to make it a valid source for having children. By using this expression the Holy Qur'an has given a subtle indication to the prohibition of carnal intercourse, even with one's wife, because it can never be a productive act, and there is no question of 'cultivation' therein. Subject to these two conditions (namely, the purity of the woman from her menses, and avoiding the carnal intercourse) one can enjoy whatever way he wishes to have sexual intimacy with his wife. In this context, it has been said, "Come to your soil from where you will". It indicates that in so far as the ultimate place (of penetration) is a 'soil' (which stands for the female vagina which is productive like a soil), one can elect whatever way he likes to reach this ultimate place. Thus, lying over the woman or beside her or beneath her, acceding to the vagina from any side, front or back, sitting or kneeling -- all these and similar other positions are allowed while performing sexual intercourse subject to the two conditions mentioned above.”

Exegist Muhsin Khan reads reference to homosexuality in this ayah:

“Your wives are a tilth for you, so go to your tilth (have sexual relations with your wives in any manner as long as it is in the vagina and not in the anus), when or how you will, and send (good deeds, or ask Allah to bestow upon you pious offspring) before you for your ownselves. And fear Allah, and know that you are to meet Him (in the Hereafter), and give good tidings to the believers (O Muhammad SAW)”.

........and Allah knows best.

May Allah Ta’aala bless us with true understanding--“fahm”--of our Deen, Aameen.

FOOTNOTES

(1) Surah 2/269

(2) Surah 102/8

(3) Surah 4/35

(4) Surah 96/3-5

(5) Surah 67/2

(6) Mufti

The purpose of appointing these two arbitrators, as also understood from this sentence, is to bring about peace and amity between the husband and wife and does not include anything beyond that. However, it would be something else if the parties affected by the mutual dispute agree to appoint these two arbitrators as their representatives and attorneys in all respects in which case they would be admitting that any decision given by the two arbitrators jointly will be acceptable to and binding on both of them. Under this situation, the two arbitrators will have absolute authority to decide their case. If both agree on divorce as the solution, they can effect a divorce. If they both decide that the woman should be released under khul’, a form of dissolution of marriage, the khul’ shall come into effect, and their decision will be binding on the parties. From among the pious elders, this is the position held by Hasan al-Basri and Imam Abu Hanifa. (Ruh al-Ma’ani, etc.)

(7) Maudoodi

There is disagreement among Muslim jurists about the extent of the mediators' authority. The Hanafi and Shafi'i schools are of the opinion that they normally have no authority to issue a binding verdict. All they may do is to recommend the solution they advocate, whereafter the spouses have the right either to accept or to reject it. The exception is if the spouses have nominated the mediators to act on their behalf in regard to either talaq or khul': they will then be bound by their verdict. This is the opinion of the Hanafi and Shafi'i schools. Another group of jurists argues that the authority of the mediators is confined to deciding how the spouses should reconcile their differences, and does not extend to the annulment of marriage. This is the opinion of Hasan al-Basri and Qatadah, among others. Yet another group holds the opinion that the mediators have full authority both in respect of reconciliation and annulment of marriage. This is the opinion of Ibn 'Abbas, Sa'id b. Jubayr, Ibrahim al-Nakha'i, al-Sha'bi, Muhammad b. Sinn and several other authorities. The precedents which have come down from early Islam, however, are the judgements of 'Uthman and 'Ali. These indicate that they conferred upon the mediators the authority to issue judgements binding on both parties. When the dispute between 'Aqil b. Abi Talib and his wife Fatimah b. 'Utbah b. Rabi'ah came up for the judgement of 'Uthman, he nominated Ibn 'Abbas and Mu'awiyah b. Abi Sufyan from the families of the husband and the wife respectively. He also told them that if they thought that separation was preferable, they should declare the marriage annulled. In a similar dispute 'Ali nominated mediators and authorized them either to bring about reconciliation or annul the marriage, whichever they considered appropriate. This shows that the mediators do not have judicial authority as such. (See the commentaries of Ibn Kathir and Jassas on this verse -Ed.) Such authority, however, may be conferred upon them by the courts, in which case their decision will have the force of a judicial verdict.

(8) Surah 4/19