The PPK Muslims (Proud, Practicing, Knowledgable) : 08/28/15

LESSONS ON MATRIMONIAL RELATIONS BETWEEN MUSLIMS
FROM THE QURAN AND SHARI'AH

ABSTRACT

This ayah commands momentous practical significance in the Family life of Muslims. A correct understanding of and action on it can ensure happiness and tranquility. Unfortunately it has been used by the mindless traditionalists and salafists to degrade and dishonor women. It has been used also by the modernists and liberals to demonize Islam. This ayah is NOT appropriating the respective position/status of men and women. That the status — not the qualities and functions — of men and women are equal in Islam is clearly defined in other ayahs. In this Ayah, Allah Ta’aala is designating the administrative setup for the unit of society in Islam — the Family.

Read ONLY, IF AND WHEN you have time and mood for:

“An Ayah of the Quran for 30 Days” -- July 2014

Choose the section you have time, in the next 30 days to read this ayah:-

Prelude: Recurrent Primary Message 1st. Page

Starting Dua, a note & The Ayah 2nd. Page

A Short Summary: For the Busy Bee Two Pages

The Main Story: Recommended Four Pages

Footnotes: For the Perfectionist One Page

PRELUDE

From the Pen and Perspective of a self-styled PPK Muslim (Proud, Practicing, Knowledgeable) with a humble submission that Islam totally rejects Blind Following BUT vigorously focusses on the Limitations of Pure Human Reasoning..............and clearly and comprehensively AlLAH knows best.

In the beginning of the seventh century C.E., the folks of Mecca and Medina had a fascinatingly unique window: they had direct access to the Heavens through one of their own. They were blessed with a regular stream of Divine counseling and guidelines. Question and answer sessions were part of the program. Even individual questioner was graced by an answer. In the short Introduction to this scheme they were assured that at the end of this twenty-two year project, Divine Directions and Admonitions will continue through the agency of the PEN. The whole discourse has been preserved and archived till eternity under the guarantee of our Lord and Creator. This record in known as the Quran.

It should sound unbelievable but factually appears to be true: Many of our prevalent, widespread and important concepts and opinions about religious matters do not have a basis in the Quran and sometimes even appear to be in obvious conflict with the teachings of the Quran. It would be very educative and helpful to discuss an Ayah once a month to see if it supports or rejects our views and actions in our daily life. I wish and hope this email generates a fruitful interactive discussion.

In the name of Allah, we praise HIM, seek HIS help and ask for HIS forgiveness. Whosoever Allah guideth none can misguide; whosoever HE allows to fall astray, none can guide him right. We bear witness that there is none worthy of worship but Allah alone and we bear witness that Mohammed, SAW is HIS slave-servant and the Seal of HIS Messengers.

Further, we recall that Allah Ta’aala has declared in HIS Book¹ “He granteth wisdom to whom He pleaseth; and he to whom wisdom is granted receiveth indeed a benefit overflowing; but none will grasp the Message (or remember or receive admonition) but men of understanding (or intellect)” and we also recall that he has warned us about the day of judgement² “Then on that day you shall most certainly be questioned about the boons (joy, pleasure).” We realise, that there cannot be a greater boon or blessing or benefit than wisdom and we wonder if this should be a timely reminder to very many of us sincere and practicing Muslims who use our critical thinking to enhance the mundane for ourselves and our families but resort to compulsory following -- taqleed, doctrine of classical Sunni Islamic Fiqh -- in matters religion.

(NOTE: I have filtered out the proofs and details into the Footnotes for those who have the time and interest for them. The main email will then be reasonable length, hopefully for the busy majority. What follows is not a sermon; I do not feel qualified to give one, anyhow. I wish, it may provide a food for thought. A caveat seems in order: If the ayah selected pertains to issues we face in our daily life with our family, friends, neighbours or peers it may affect us personally and lead to some self analysis and soul searching which in turn could be divisive and distressing. If taken in the right spirit, it can be a humble attempt towards finding the “straight path”.)

THE AYAH

Surah An Nisa No. 4, Ayah 34

"Men are the protectors and maintainers of women, because Allah has given the one more (strength) than the other, and because they support them from their means. Therefore the righteous women are devoutly obedient, and guard in (the husband's) absence what Allah would have them guard. As to those women on whose part ye fear disloyalty and ill-conduct, admonish them (first), (Next), refuse to share their beds, (And last) beat them (lightly); but if they return to obedience, seek not against them Means (of annoyance): For Allah is Most High, great (above you all)". Yusuf Ali

A SHORT VERSION

“I am convinced about the veracity of my opinions, but I do consider it likely that they may turn out to be incorrect. Likewise, I am convinced about the incorrectness of the views different from mine, but I do concede the possibility that they may turn out to be correct.” — Imam Shafa’i

This ayah commands momentous practical significance in the Family life of Muslims. A correct understanding of and action on it can ensure happiness and tranquility.

As will be clear from the discussion that follows, this ayah is NOT appropriating the respective position/status of men and women. That the status — not the qualities and functions — of men and women are equal in Islam is clearly defined in other ayahs. In this Ayah, Allah Ta’aala is designating the administrative setup for the unit of society in Islam — the Family.

The ayah begins with a very challenging statement, specially disconcerting and perplexing to a modern female mind: Ar-rijalu qawwamoona ala annisa i.e. Men are “qawwam” over Women. The meaning of this word therefore gains tremendous importance.

The translation above together with other scholars calls it “protectors and maintainers.” Other scholarly suggestions are:

“…..Men are the ever upright (managers) (of the affairs) of women”

“…..Men stand caretakers of women”

“…..Men shall take full care of women”

Yusuf Ali, Maulana Maudoodi and Dr. Mohammed Asad have elaborated suggestions. Mufti Mohmmed Shafi discusses the meaning of the Arabic word “qawwam” lucidly and logically in his epic Ma’aariful Quran and concludes “…… of course, the need is there and Allah Almighty, in His infinite wisdom, elected men for this responsibility because their natural capabilities are more pronounced than those of women and children . This is such an open and obvious fact of human life that no sane human being, man or woman can say no to it; and its denial does not change reality.” The Mufti then proceeds to qualify and circumscribe this position of authority for the man and concludes “the message is that the rights of women are as incumbent upon men as the rights of men are upon women, and the rights of both are similar to each other with only one exception that men have a certain precedence in functional authority, although this too is hemmed with other balancing factors.”

The ayah then proceeds to give two reasons for appointing man as the qawwam over woman. The first reason is based on the wisdom of the Creator and Creation which is beyond the control of any human being and the second depends on individual human effort.

First, “bima fadda la-Allahu baadahum alas baadin” which has been translated above as: because Allah has given the one more (strength) than the other. Other scholars offer variations. I would like to point out that the text has used the plural form so “some of them over (some) others” is more appropriate than “one more (strength) than the other”.

The critical word is faddala which “some” have received more than “others”. Maulana Maudoodi has explained the meaning as: “The verb used here - a derivative of the root fdl - is not used to mean that some people have been invested with superior honour and dignity. Rather it means that God has endowed one of the sexes (i.e. the male sex) with certain qualities which He has not endowed the other sex with, at least not to an equal extent. Thus it is the male who is qualified to function as head of the family. The female has been so constituted that she should live under his care and protection.”

As the genders have been endowed with some qualities in preference to the opposite gender, in these areas one gender has an edge over the other. Both genders must accept this Divine distribution in their practical life. The text has declared man (husband) as the functional head of the family because of these qualities. While this duty calls for many responsibilities on the man, it also confers certain privileges. Put differently, man is charged with a “duty-bound authority over women” giving him the deciding vote in matters of dispute. However the text also allows of the possibility that any given woman may dominate in these qualities. In that case she may act as the head of the family for all practical purposes. As a physician I have had the unique privilege t0 witness closely some aspects of the family life of my patients; time and again I had seen that the woman behind the curtain was calling the shots.

The second reason: “….wa bima anfaqoo min amwa lihim….” This is translated above as “because they support them from their means. Other scholars have rendered it as:

“…..and what they spend [for maintenance] from their wealth….”

“……and because they spend (to support them) from their means….”

“……because they spend of their property (for the support of women)…”

“…….because they spend out of their property….”

“……..and for what they have expended of their riches…..”

As against the first reason, the second one relates to what is achieved with human effort. This ayah means that men spend their money, pay dower and take the responsibility of meeting all needs of women. Hence, the precedence.

I can see and feel the agitation around me specially in the fairer sex. Women are working, women are earning and contributing and even dominating the family finances. Does this have to stop? No. Can it continue? Yes. But it does not effect the general rule of authority enunciated here. It will (and in practice does) though, definitely alter the balance of authority and compliance between man and woman in certain situations. The issue in fact is a larger one. Islam does not dictate nor desire a male dominated society. Our Deen has designed a balanced and equitable society by attributing definite roles to the two genders depending mainly on the God given biological, emotional, psychological and physical attributes of the two genders. Islam has laid down clear priorities with ample room for adjustment in a given case.

For a PPK Muslim, the goals and character of inter-gender relationship in an Islamic society has been clearly laid down in this ayah. Islam does not pit man against woman. Thus effectively relegating the modern stress on “feminist” movements as redundant. It sets the mood for cooperation and co-ordination between the two halves of Homo sapiens by knitting them in a family. The man is the CEO in charge of the planning and development and sustenance of the company. He is granted the deciding vote to ensure smooth running of the establishment. The woman is the Executive Director looking after the health, smooth running and safety of the company. There is ample room for an adjustment or interchange of responsibilities in individual cases. The children are told to find their heaven under the feet of their mothers. There is nothing that a brother does not want to do for his sister. A father would sacrifice his life for his daughter. Man is commanded about his wife⁵ “……on the contrary live with them on a footing of kindness and equity. If ye take a dislike to them it may be that ye dislike a thing, and Allah brings about through it a great deal of good…..” During an interview, the famous British Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher went out of her way to stress that she “goes out herself to buy the family groceries”. True or not is immaterial. That a great and unusually active Prime Minister of Great Britain thought it important to emphasize this point in late twentieth century emphasis the role and importance of home and family in the life of a woman.

Mufti Shafi has quoted a comment from Ibn Hibban in al-Bahr al-Muhit: “These two reasons in support of the authority of men also prove that the right to authority does not get to be established simply by force. Rather, this right can be deserved on the basis of one's competence and capability.”

Some scholars have very meaningfully suggested that this precedence men have over women is in terms of genus. As far as individuals are concerned, it is quite possible that a woman may excel a man in her qualities and practical accomplishments, so much so that a woman may be superior to some individual men even in the qualities of a care-taker.

We have completed a small part of this profound ayah. Rest of the ayah will be discussed in the next session.

TO BE CONTINUED

........and Allah knows best.

May Allah Ta’aala bless us with true understanding--“fahm”--of our Deen, Aameen.

THE MAIN STORY

This ayah commands momentous practical significance in the Family life of Muslims. A correct understanding of and action on it can ensure happiness and tranquility.

However a superficial translation of this superb ayah leads to the misleading meaning as “Men (husbands) are in-charge of women (wives); good women should be obedient to their men and protect their interest; if they are rebellious then then men should beat them….” This absurd interpretation has been used by the mindless traditionalists and salafists to degrade and dishonor women; on the other hand many women specially educated, out of ignorance or defiance of this ayah refuse to value the views and suggestions of the their men at the cost of mutual happiness and harmony. More over it has been used by the modernists and liberals to demonize Islam. Hence I propose to deliberate at length on the true message of this ayah. My personal opinions will not be able carry much weight in such an important matter. I therefore will profusely depend on quoting well known scholars. I will start with analyzing different translations of the critical words in this ayah to give us an understanding of the range in the meaning of these words. Next various tafaasir and explanations will be analyzed. Other ayahs on the same subject cannot be ignored for a full appreciation of the subject. Lastly I will venture to suggest what all this means to a PPK (proud, practicing, knowledgable) Muslim. If the discussion gets prolonged, it may need to be divided into parts.

The translation above together with other scholars calls it “protectors and maintainers.” Other scholarly suggestions are:

“…..Men are the ever upright (managers) (of the affairs) of women”

“…..Men stand caretakers of women”

“…..Men shall take full care of women”

Yusuf Ali elaborates: “Qawwam: one who stands firm in another’s business, protects his interests, and looks after his affairs; or it may be, standing firm in his own business, managing affairs, with a steady purpose.”

Maulana Maudoodi explains: “A qawwam or qayyim is a person responsible for administering and supervising the affairs of either an individual or an organization, for protecting and safeguarding them and taking care of their needs.”

Dr. Mohammed Asad states: “The expression qawwam is an intensive form of qa'im ("one who is responsible for" or "takes care of" a thing or a person). The grammatical form qawwam is more comprehensive than qa'im, and combines the concepts of physical maintenance and protection as well as of moral responsibility: and it is because of the last-named factor that I have rendered this phrase as "men shall take full care of women".

Mufti Mohmmed Shafi discusses the meaning of the Arabic word “qawwam” lucidly and logically in his epic Ma’aariful Quran: “Qawwam, qayyam or qayyim in Arabic denotes a person who holds the responsibility or has the duty and charge to manage a job or run a system or take care of what has to be done about something, controlling all related factors therein. The standard role of a man, with regard to women, has been mentioned in this verse through the word, 'qawwam' which has been translated in various ways, the most common being in the sense of “hakim” or one who rules, governs, or decides. Other alternates used are guardians, custodians, overseers and protectors. When taken in the sense of a carer, a functional head, and not in the political sense of a ruler or dictator, the 'qawwam' or hakim of the Qur'an offers a base of understanding from common experience. It is obvious that, for any group-living, big or small, or for any organized system, it is rationally and customarily necessary that the group or system have some head or chief or authority (emphasis mine) so that he can arbitrate in the event of a difference and take decisions to run affairs smoothly. That such authority is needed in the running of countries, governments and states is universally accepted and practiced. This need, as felt in modem times, was also felt in the older tribal social organizations where the chief of a tribe was taken as the authority for that tribe. Why would a family organization, a micro-sample of the larger organizations, would not need someone to head, maintain and run the system? Of course, the need is there and Allah Almighty, in His infinite wisdom, elected men for this responsibility because their natural capabilities are more pronounced than those of women and children . This is such an open and obvious fact of human life that no sane human being, man or woman can say no to it; and its denial does not change reality.”

The Mufti then proceeds to qualify and circumscribe this position of authority for the man. I would like to point out that Mufti Shafi was a very conservative and traditional scholar and a strict advocate of total segregation of the genders so much so that he allowed women to expose only one eye when they were out in the open as they do not need the other eye to see their way through! Therefore his views should be regarded as totally Islamic and completely unadulterated from the modern and Western ideas of feminism and gender equality. He maintains that “ the message is that the rights of women are as incumbent upon men as the rights of men are upon women, and the rights of both are similar to each other…” However, on the basis of this ayah which says men stand caretakers of women and another which says “and for men, there is a step above them” he is quick to add “ with only one exception that men have a certain precedence in functional authority, although this too is hemmed with other balancing factors. As explained in other verses of the Quran, this mantle of authority placed on the shoulders of men is not that of a dictator or a tyrant. While exercising this authority, man is bound by the supreme law of Islam, the Shari’ah. He must act on the principle of consultation and follow good counsel. He just cannot act on the spur of his whim or his wild instincts. The command given to him is³ “on the contrary live with them on a footing of kindness and equity.”

This aspect of having mutual consultation appears in another verse⁴ “…….If they both decide on weaning, by mutual consent, and after due consultation, there is no blame on them…….” Here men have been instructed to act in consultation with wives in family affairs. After this clarification, the technical authority of man should not be a source of heart-burning for women.

First, “bima fadda la-Allahu baadahum alas baadin” which has been translated above as: because Allah has given the one more (strength) than the other. Other scholars have put it as:

….what Allah has given one over the other…..

….because Allah has made one of them to excel the other….

….because Allah has given the one more (strength) than the other….

….what Allah has graced some of them over (some) others….

….Allah has made some of them excel the others

….more on some of them than on the others

I would like to point out that the text has used the plural form so “some of them over (some) others” is more appropriate than “one more (strength) than the other”. The critical word is faddala which “some” have received more than “others”.

Maulana Maudoodi has explained thus: “The verb used here - a derivative of the root fdl - is not used to mean that some people have been invested with superior honour and dignity. Rather it means that God has endowed one of the sexes (i.e. the male sex) with certain qualities which He has not endowed the other sex with, at least not to an equal extent. Thus it is the male who is qualified to function as head of the family. The female has been so constituted that she should live under his care and protection.”

Mufti Mohammed Shafi has more or less similar explanation: “The first reason has been mentioned in the words: Bemaa Fazal Lahoo……It means that Allah Almighty has made some excel the others (in some qualities) under His exclusive wisdom and consideration. This is like the sacred environs of Makkah where a particular House of Worship was declared by Allah as His House and Qiblah (the orientation), and in Jerusalem, a special honour was given to the Bayt al Maqdis. Similar is the case with the precedence of men. This is a God given grace. Men have done nothing to get it and there is nothing wrong with women that they do not have it. It is simply based on the wisdom of creation, an exclusive privilege of the Creator.”

The second reason: “….wa bima anfaqoo min amwa lihim….” This is translated above as “because they support them from their means. Other scholars have rendered it as:

“…..and what they spend [for maintenance] from their wealth….”

“……and because they spend (to support them) from their means….”

“……because they spend of their property (for the support of women)…”

“…….because they spend out of their property….”

“……..and for what they have expended of their riches…..”

“Now let us pursue the second hint about an important principle in life. The principle is that woman, in terms of her creation and nature, should not be subjected to go out, work and earn her own livelihood. Also, the very attributes of her being are hardly conducive to her running around offices and markets, doing jobs and laborious work to earn a livelihood (feel free to differ from him here). So, to keep her safe from roughing it out like men, Allah Almighty has placed her total responsibility on men. Before she is married, her father takes care of her, and after her marriage, she becomes the responsibility of her husband. Woman, as opposed to her sweating it out in the work places in the name of income, career or liberation, has been made the means of human procreation. Then, the responsibility of being mothers of children and that of managing and holding the house and the family together has also been placed on her shoulders (cannot but agree with him here). Man cannot handle the burdens of responsibilities in these areas.”

“Keeping this in view, it is not possible to deduce that the status of women has been reduced by making them dependent on men in the matter of her expenses. There is no value judgement being made here. This is no more than a functional distribution of duties, except that, the inter-acting precedence between duties which exists elsewhere exists here too. In short, the two reasons given show that the precedence of men does not lower the status of women, nor does this hold any special gain for them. Whatever gain there is, it reverts back to women after all.” I would say it reverts back to the family; that is, to the unit of an Islamic society.

He also sees a Quranic eloquence in describing the precedence of men and adds “It is noteworthy that the Holy Qur'an, while giving the first reason for the precedence of men, has not opted for an expression like “because He made men excel women”. On the contrary, it has elected to give a deeper significance to the statement by using the expression: “baa dahum aala baadin" that is, “made some of them excel the others”. The wisdom here is not difficult to see. The Arabic expression “baa dahum aala baadin” has a subtle indication to the fact that men and women are part of each other. Therefore, there is a hint that the precedence of men, even if proved in one or the other field, will not go beyond being similar to the precedence of man's head over his hand, or of his heart over his stomach. So, just as the precedence of man's head over his hand does not diminish the role and the importance of the hand, similarly, the precedence of man does not cause any lowering of the status of women, because both of them are parts of each other's body - if man is the head, woman is the body.”

We have completed a small part of this profound ayah. Rest of the ayah will be discussed in the next session.

TO BE CONTINUED

........and Allah knows best.

May Allah Ta’aala bless us with true understanding--“fahm”--of our Deen, Aameen.

ALLAH HAFIZ

Dr. Khalid Mitha

FOOTNOTES

(1) Surah 2/269

(2) Surah 102/8

(3) Surah 4/19 (Only part of the ayah)

وَعَاشِرُوهُنَّ بِالْمَعْرُوفِ

(4) Surah 2/233 (Only part of the Ayah)

فَإِنْ أَرَادَا فِصَالًا عَنْ تَرَاضٍ مِنْهُمَا وَتَشَاوُرٍ فَلَا جُنَاحَ عَلَيْهِمَا

(5) Surah 4/19 (Only part of the ayah)

وَعَاشِرُوهُنَّ بِالْمَعْرُوفِ فَإِنْ كَرِهْتُمُوهُنَّ فَعَسَى أَنْ تَكْرَهُوا شَيْئًا وَيَجْعَلَ اللَّهُ فِيهِ خَيْرًا كَثِيرًا

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LESSONS ON MATRIMONIAL RELATIONS BETWEEN MUSLIMS FROM THE QURAN AND SHARI'AH